MeltDown . . .

Ok, i had somewhat of a melt down yesterday afternoon. I have never been mad/angry over my dad's death, but yesterday was a different story! My dad always had a garden and they were always perfect and did very well. He knew exactly what he was doing... how much to water, how to fertilize, how to treat the plants for insects, yada, yada, yada. Well, guess what?? I have NO CLUE what i am doing and neither does JJ. Let me take that back. We have a slight clue as to what we are doing but have no idea on how to do all of the above things that my dad always knew what to do. I need help and i need my dad's help! He is supposed to be here and be there when we need guidance on something that he has expertise in doing and he isn't. And yesterday, i just could not handle it or hold it in any longer. I should not have to ask friends to give me advice almost daily on things that he should helping me with. But, i have to if i want help. So, i cried all afternoon/evening as i was attempting to fertilize our garden and just hoped that what i was doing was right. I know it wasn't wrong but there are just so many things that go along with a garden that i don't have answers to. Oh well. I am over it and my plants aren't dead. They are growing but i expected them to get bigger quicker and it could be because i haven't fertilized them enough. It may all work out in the end. I am no longer mad/angry. Now i feel SO bad for even getting upset and for the way i was feeling...kinda feel selfish. But i love that man just as much today as i have my whole life! He is there for me, i know he is.
♥ you REP!!